Well hello there. My name is Mandi and I want be a blogger. I am a mommy, wife, and career lady. I have about 10 million thoughts in my head a day. Some random, some deep, and well some are just rants. However talking to yourself just is unproductive after a certain point. So I am taking it to the masses. Well to my friends and then they will pass it along and then I will maybe have like ... 15 followers. Not really masses but more then then little voice in my head. Also I think this may eliminate the 3 hour phone conversations that turn into mall walks for another 3 hours.
The reason I titled my blog "Never again..." is because I have been through way too much bad for one lifetime. Some of which I can only blame myself. Never again will I let myself or someone I love fall down like I did. Some days are easy and some are so hard I can barely remember how to breathe. Today was one of those days...
We just figured out that my 12 month old daughter, who has literally been crying since she was 2 days old, has some type of sensory over stimulation going on. In the grand scheme of life this is a blip on the radar of life. However right now ... it is the most difficult thing in the world for me. Fabrics, people, places, sounds, and even food can set her off. Though she can speak a ton of words life is mostly pointing and grunting. This will get better. Once she can verbalize to us what is bothering her life will be fantastic!!! Right now though it is really rough. And to top it all off it makes separation anxiety go to the extreme. My poor lil flower just gets completely overwhelmed.
I think I realized while listening to her scream in the other room with her father as I was sitting in the shower crying my eyes out that this is going to be harder then I thought. I thought having an overly sensitive child was going to be better since we finally had some tools to use. Nope wrong! The tools don't always work and then you feel like a complete failure. Seriously... what is my purpose as a mother if I can't even make her feel better?
Baby having a breakdown = Mommy + Daddy having breakdowns.
Thankfully I have the best friends a girl could ask for who were there to rescue all of this morning. Daddy got a timeout, baby got a play date, and mommy went to work and cried the whole way there. LOL
I feel like the little engine that could. I keep repeating "I can do this, I CAN do this, I CAN DO THIS!!" convincing myself I can not only be a mommy but that I rock at it.
Deep breathe .... One day at a time ...
Have you ever been there? Have you ever had to give yourself a personal pep talk?
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| Good Day :) |
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| Ok day :/ no pics of bad days |
