Did you ever have that person in your life that you would randomly call, text, email, or message. It would be like this feeling that you need to do it and then the 2 of you have a much needed conversation. Weather it is just one of you or both walk away feeling refreshed and better about life and all that it involves.
I have one of those. A girl who randomly will pop into my head and we some how manage to just send happy messages at the exactly perfect time. Some times when she posts her blog I think she is secretly reading my mind! Creepy and fantastic all at the same time.
Today was one of those days. Our random chat wound up affirming things I needed affirmation on. This time of year always brings up so much hurt and pain in my mind. I am always faced with the never ending question of when will it get easier? When will the hurt and pain go away? I feel so deeply every emotion. So I figured maybe it would take longer for it to stop hurting. However I realize now, it will never stop hurting. This is not bad!! I can let go and still feel all that is there. It is how I work.
All of my pain and hurt will benefit someone somewhere. I can't have possibly gone through everything I did to not have a reason for it. Even if it is to show people what not to do in certain situations. It is a reason. The tears I cried and still cry have a reason for falling. Every flower needs to be watered to bloom. My tears are watering a garden. I know for certain in my heart and soul that this garden will be full of the most beautiful and precious flowers. That with out my sorrow and pain would have never received the rain they needed to bloom in full. When, where, and what this garden will look like and be I am not sure. Rest assured though that when I see it I will know it is mine.
So someday in the future you will see me sitting in a garden surrounded by the most beautiful of blooms. I will be at the center of it all. All the beauty and peace will be around me. I will have a smile on my face and glow that will be seen for eternity. There will be no more tears falling from my eyes. Only pure serenity all around. I will wrap my arms around those that have loved and cared about me all this time and I will share my peace with them. They will feel at ease and walk in my garden knowing that all that they saw me go though turned into the most beautiful thing I could have ever dreamed or imagined. Take a flower with you and hold it close to your heart. If you close your eyes and listen closely you will hear it in the wind. The sound of Love and Peace. You will feel my arms wrapped around your heart giving you all you could possibly need. I know this now. And it makes the pain I feel now easier. I will now walk to the garden of my mother and sit beside her. Clip a rose and hold it to my heart. I will close my eyes and sway in the wind hearing her Love and Peace. Feeling her soul. And never dismissing the pain. Only enjoying it's beauty.
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